Are you ready for
marriage? Take the test. It's easy, it's practical. Dive in.
You are engaged
to be married. But are you ready? You
say you are, but you are not sure if you are ready for the responsibility of
marriage. Adulting can be hard work. Let’s find out.
- 1.Can you cook? Name 5 dishes you can make from scratch.
This doesn’t include any frozen microwavable or frozen oven baked dinners. If it comes from a package, like mac and
cheese in a box, it doesn’t count.
Scoring: 5 or more dinners: 5 million points and a high five!
4 dinners: Good but can be great.
Learn new dishes.
3 dinners: Needs improvement, keep trying.
2 dinners: Has anyone mentioned that processed foods are bad for your
health? Take a cooking class STAT.
1
or
no dinners: Don't you want to eat? Give it up. You aren’t marriage material.
2. Do you know
finances and budgeting? Do you know
anything about rental contracts, mortgages, HOAs? Do you know the cost of electric, heat, gas,
water, sewer, cable, Netflix, cell phone plans?
If you only know the cost of cell phones, Netflix, the cost of drinks at
various bars, you aren’t ready! Grow up, you are not ready for marriage.
3.It’s time to pay
bills. What are your priorities? If you say Netflix, phone, hair
extensions, nails, beer, entertainment, sporting events and concert tickets, you
are so not ready for marriage.
4.Do you know how to
change a baby? Feed a baby? Burp a baby? Are you able to get up during the night when
the baby is crying? Are you able to
figure out if the baby is hungry, needs changed or just had a nightmare? If you want to get married and you’ve never
done any of the above, stay single and practice birth control. You’re not ready.
5.Do
you know how to do laundry? Can you wash
clothes without fading your jeans all over your light color clothes, leaving everything
a blue/gray? Does everything come out dingy and wrinkled? What did you do in college when you didn’t
have mom to do your laundry? Fail.
A vintage spin class?
6.What skills do you
have in a crunch situation? Do you have a flashlight in case of a
power failure? Do you know how to disarm a smoke alarm? Do you even HAVE a smoke detector? If you also
have a CO 2 detector, I’ll personally get you to the church on time. You win this round of the marriage test.
A tornado is coming! Do you gather the family and the dog and
take
cover or go outside to take a selfie in the
tornado’s path and post it to Instagram? I don’t even have to tell you how to
score this one.
7. Does your job have
health insurance? Do you even have a job? Do
you have a clue how much doctor visits cost, medications, x-rays, blood tests, emergency
room visits and hospitalizations? Last
week the doctor was going to prescribe an injection because I couldn’t tolerate
a medication. The cost? $4600 and not
covered by my insurance. And that’s a
month! WTH? Google the cost of having a baby and be
prepared to have your mind blown.
8.The dog needs to go
out. Do you walk him or let him suffer
until he explodes on the carpet? If you abuse the dog
in this manner, what would you do if your baby is crying and hungry, needs their
diaper changed and the wife is out grocery shopping? The kid and the dog are
going to be hating on you.
9. The yard needs mowed
before the city fines you for having a jungle in your yard. Do you continue with your online gaming and ignore it or do
you tell your wife to mow it because you are “busy.” Either way, major fail. Adulting requires work before
play.
10. It’s your fiance’s
birthday. Do you go
home right after work or stop off with friends for a drink? If you choose stopping off, you’ll soon be single.
None of this matters, you're not marriage material.
