Engaged at Christmas, Time to Start Planning the Wedding

Congratulations on your holiday engagement. Whether
it was a complete surprise or somewhat expected,
you are now engaged to be married. Relax, its normal
to look at your ring finger a hundred times a day, just
don't do it while you are driving down the road!
Its also normal to be completely confused and clueless
as to how or when to proceed with planning your wedding.

Maybe you and your fiance have talked of the kind of
wedding you want. Or maybe not. But its time to sit
down and have the "big talk". Your expectations and his
expectations may be totally different. I know a lot of
brides who don't want a wedding, and a lot of grooms who
have dreamed of seeing their bride in a white gown walking
down the aisle in a traditional wedding.

Here's a big surprise for a lot of brides: There are a lot
of grooms who have also dreamed of their wedding day. And they
might be even more excited than you! The media puts so much
emphasis on the bride, but without the groom....hey, there
is no wedding. I talk to a lot of grooms and some want a lot
of input. Some just want to show up and party. And others
will help plan, make suggestions and run errands.

You need to make sure both of your expectations are on the same
page. You both have to want a traditional wedding or a
destination wedding. You have to understand your grooms
expectations, you need to respect his feelings. Its not
just about you, its about us, its about the marriage.

Set the date, talk to your parents if they are paying for
the wedding and see what they are willing or able to pay
towards the wedding. They'll also have expectations and
suggestions for the wedding. They might have family traditions
that they want included in the wedding. One word springs to
mind: Compromise. Don't argue, scream or fuss. Just
keep an open mind and make decisions when you are in
a calm frame of mind.

Take your time making decisions. Don't jump into any contracts
until you've had time to think and compare your options.
Don't immediately ask everyone to be in your wedding party.
Think, plan and then act. And do it as a couple. Its
training for marriage!

Enjoy your engagement. Its a time to come together as
a couple to plan the rest of your life. Its a time to
plan the wedding. Its a time to enjoy life and look
forward to the future! Look at that ring, show off that
ring and enjoy the congratulations of family and friends.

Here's a great site to help
with planning your wedding and answer your questions.
Wedding Loco Wedding Planning
And if there is a destination wedding in your future
check out Beach Bride 2 Be: Weddings in Paradise.

Have a happy wedding!

Bigger is Not Always Better....

Yup, I found out the hard way that bigger
is not always better, speaking of diamonds,
of course. What did you think I was talking
about?



I inherited a humongous diamond ring from a
92 year old aunt since I was the only one who bothered
to visit her at the nursing home. All the relatives
were pissed off that I scored the diamond.
We had all secretly lusted after this gem since
we were tots. Aunt Sally was proud of her ring
and flashed it like an old Hollywood star in a very
dramatic fashion. She was SO dramatic and this
ring suited her personality, big, brash and bold.

The diamond was a gift from her husband on their
25th wedding anniversary wedding. The center
diamond is like a hallogen headlight or a beacon from a
light house. It's BIG.

I decide the ring needs to be insured and I took it to
have it appraised. It turns out the stone is as flawed
as some politician's consciences. Oh, you can't see it,
but its flawed. One store offered me $125 for the ring.
He based it on the fact that the band is 18K gold. So off
I go to another jewelry store to get to the bottom of
the diamond's worth. This guy told me "Its an old
diamond." Geeze, aren't all diamonds old? He said
it would have value if it was new. WTF? He offered
me $100 for the stone. So off to appraisal #3, same
story. Worth less than a couple of hundred bucks.

I brought the ring home and put it in a safe while
I decide to leave it status quo or reset it.

I always thought diamonds kept their value, but
apparently that is only if the diamond is flawless.
And a flawless diamond will cost you as much as
a new house. Whouda thot?

I don't know much about buying diamonds. Maybe
a little, but I'm sure not a gemologist. But
I know that I've seen some really big rocks on
engaged gals. And I've seen some teeny rocks, too.
Makes me wonder if the big rocks are flawed.
Or if they are real. Or why I'm wasting my time
wondering about diamonds. Or maybe I'm just
disappointed that the ring I lusted after for
years is worthless in value, but rich in sentimental
memories.

So girls, if you want a big diamond, prepare to
pay big bucks or settle for perfect as in "I found
my perfect soul mate". Size doesn't matter.

So You Hate Your Engagement Ring...

I just finished reading an article in Modern Bride about women who were
disappointed in their engagement rings. It was too big,
it was too small, it wasn't "me". Frankly, I've never seen a
diamond I didn't like, but that's just me, I've always been
distracted by shiny objects. (That's the reason I give for being
in the bridal dress biz, I get to be surrounded by shiny objects all day long!)

I had just spoken to a jeweler who said that brides don't want
anything under 2 carats for their MAIN stone. And they want
flawless stones. He said that smaller sized stones just don't sell.
I was shocked because in today's economy, how many men can afford a
stone that size? Do you really need to start your marriage in debt because
you just HAD to have a big ring?

I noticed that the rings I've been seeing on the fingers of the newly
engaged gals in the bridal salon are humongous. I've actually wondered
if they were real. Maybe they aren't?

So what should you do if you HATE your ring? You can send it to
me where it will be loved, cherished and enjoyed. ;)
Seriously, if you THINK a ring might be in your future,
how about giving him some guidance? Tell him what you want,
men aren't mind readers. He'd probably be happy for some starting
point. Show him pictures, the bridal magazines are wallpapered with
pictures of rings. Point out rings in the jewelry shop you like.

Or tell him point blank that you've always dreamed of shopping
together for your wedding ring. Then pick what you WANT and stop whining.

Or talk to his mother and tell HER what you want.
She may know what he's got in mind and you can tell her what
you'd like. Or have your mother talk to him.
Mom's do have some clout.

Some gals never get an engagement ring. When I got engaged,
we couldn't afford a diamond big enough to be seen by the
human eye. We did matching gold custom wedding bands and I was
happy. He surprised me when he could afford a diamond.
I got to choose what I wanted and it was smaller than what he
picked out for me. What was I thinking?

Other gals get small rings and cherish them. I've seen brides
gush over a quarter of a carat diamond with the gusto of a gal
who just got a rock from Cartier's.

Its all about your perception. I really want to say be happy for what
you've got. I really want to say to stop being greedy and trying
to out do your friends. I want to say that the ring isn't important,
its the thought behind the ring. But I'm not going to say it.
I'm going to say that if the ring is the most important part of the
wedding, you've got your priorities screwed up.