Life Throws a Curve Ball, So Does Wedding Planning

Yes, I've been missing in action because life threw me a huge curve ball. Suddenly, I have custody of a teen aged relative. I don't know how it happened, it just happened. Guess it was part of a bigger plan for my life. "Kyle" needed a home, security and parents. Maybe dealing with brides and bridezillas prepared me for dealing with a teenager. Maybe I just had an extra bedroom. Whatever, I'm rolling with it.

Life is funny, when you think its all planned out, something happens and you have to adapt. The same with wedding planning. Just when you think its all coming together, something happens and derails the plan. You either roll with it and go to Plan B, or you make yourself a miserable mess. Learning how to roll with the punches makes life and wedding planning a lot easier.

So what if the tuxes are a shade off from the maids dresses? How important is that in the context of your marriage? I've seen grown women melt into mushy puddles over tiny details that really are not noticeable and I want to grab them by the shoulders and tell them to get a grip. Pick your battles, pick what stresses you out and roll with the rest. Its the only way to get through life and its the only way to get through wedding planning. Because, its not the wedding, its the marriage that matters!

New Years Resolutions For The 2009 Bride

Its time for the 2009 bride to make new years
resolutions for her wedding. Yeah, I know how
hard it is to make resolutions stick. If you
follow the resolutions, you'll have an easier
time with your wedding planning and actually
have a fun and enjoyable time planning and executing
your wedding. And isn't that what we all want?

Resolve to get organized.
An organized bride is a happy bride. Invest
in a wedding planner or purchase a software
program on the net that keeps track of your
progress and leads you to the next step.

Resolve to keep the focus on the marriage
and less on the party.
Too many brides forget that the purpose of
the wedding is the union of two people in
marriage. If that means going to couples
counseling, pre Cana counseling or whatever
your church deems necessary, then just do
it! If everyone spent as much time on planning
the marriage as they do planning the wedding,
there would be less divorces.

Resolve to treat your bridal/wedding party
with respect.
Keep their budget and figure concerns in
mind whey you pick out bridesmaid dresses.
Don't demand that they host a shower for you.
Don't demand they host a bachelorette party
for you. Accept whatever they plan and enjoy
it. It might be a lot more fun than what you
had in mind.
Don't expect your bridesmaids to plan your wedding.
Its NOT their job. Don't expect them to be as
excited about your wedding as you are. Don't
expect them to be available every moment for
wedding shopping or assembling invitations.
Accept whatever help they are able to give
and show your appreciation.

Resolve to treat your parents with respect
during the wedding planning process.
Your parents may or may not be paying for the
wedding and they will want to give you input
and suggestions. Accept it in the spirit to
which it was offered and then make up your
own mind as to what you really want to do.
They may be having a hard time with their
"little girl" getting married regardless of
how much they love your groom.

Resolve to make a budget and work within
your budget.
Budgets aren't fun. I personally hate 'em, but
its a fact of life and you have to deal with
the money you have available.

Resolve to have the wedding you can afford.
Don't go into debt for a wedding. If you can only
afford a small wedding, have the best small wedding
evah!

Resolve to be happy for what you have instead of
stessing over what you don't have. Count your
blessings!
You are marrying the man of your dreams. You have
your health. Life is good. Stress the positives
and be happy. Jealousy, envy and wanting what you
can't have for your wedding will eat you alive and
make you miserable. Don't go down that path.

Resolve to spend time NOT planning your wedding
and to spend quality time with your fiance.
No one wants to deal with a 24/7 bride, including
your fiance. Wedding planning shouldn't be the
focus of your life. Take time to smell the flowers,
laugh and have fun with your fiance and friends.

Resolve to hire professionals to service your wedding.
There are great ways to save on wedding services,
but you have to hire experienced wedding
professional if you want the job done right.
Uncle Joe and his camera won't capture the moments
as well as a professional photographer. There are
great professionals in all price ranges. Trust your
most important day to a pro and you'll not regret it.

Resolve to read every contract before you sign it.
Make sure you know what you are signing before you sign
on the dotted line. And make sure you get everything
in writing.

Resolve to follow up with all your vendors in a timely
manner.
Follow up and you'll all be on the same page.
Don't follow up and you are heading for disaster.

Resolve to make deposits and payments in a timely manner.
If you don't make a deposit, you'll lose your
services. As Elvis would say, Take care of business!

Resolve to follow through.
If you decide to make your own favors, just
do it. If you come up with an idea, make it
happen and finish the task. Don't wait until the
last minute to get 'er done.

Resolve to take advice in the spirit of which
it was intended.
Everyone is going to give you a lot of advice.
Don't get ticked off. Take the advice, tell you
will take it under advisement and then forget
about it. Every person who has ever been married
is going to give you advice. Expect it, accept it
and toss it with a smile.

Resolve to enjoy your wedding!

And from Weddingzilla, have a happy wedding
and congratulations!

Wedding Advice From Friends, Well Intentioned or Not?

Brides are bombarded with wedding advice from
everywhere and everyone. The net is full of
advice, bridal magazines offer advice, bridal shows,
and wedding professionals (moi included). This advice
is the kind you can tuck away for the future or
totally ignore.

Your family and friends are full of advice. This advice
is right in your face, so how do you deal with it?
Its hard to ignore someone who's telling you what
you SHOULD do when they are in your face.
Question: How do you draw the line from well
meaning advice to total annoyance?

What you hear: My wedding...blah, blah, blah.
I did it this way and you should do this..blah, blah.

What you may think they are saying:
My wedding is better than yours will ever be.

What they are really saying: I want to talk
all about my wedding so I can relive it again
and again. I want the spotlight on me.

So, what should you do? Smile, take the advice
with a grain of salt and let it go. There is no
reason to get upset, they may be very well
intentioned and they may really want to help.
They may actually have hit upon an idea that
is worth checking out. Or not.

When it gets to the point of annoyance,
say to them nicely " I haven't firmed up
that area yet and I'll take your suggestion
under consideration." And then change the
subject.

When Mom says " We did it this way" and
"I want it done this way", its time to let her know
that times have changed since her wedding. Things
are done differently, she's had her wedding. Tell her
that you've always dreamed of doing it another way and
would she please spend some time with you going over
your wedding plans?

Some Mom's wont let it go. If that's the case, have someone
she trusts talk to her about the wedding plans. It could
be Dad, . her best friend or it could be the consultant at
the bridal salon.

You are not under obligation to do things
THEIR way. You don't have to take their advice,
patronize their wedding vendors or use their advice.
Ultimately, this is YOUR wedding, and you get
to have your wedding, your way! Their wedding is history,
yours is now. Happy planning!