Friday, August 8, 2008

Drill Sargeant Bride: Clarification of Wedding Terms

Dear Mother in Law 2 Be,

John called me last night and said you
were upset that I vetoed your dress. Sorry,
but if you had taken the time to read an etiquette
book, you'd know that my mother gets first choice.
I want my mom to look better than you, that's the
rules, and she and I haven't been able to decide on
a dress for her. I read on the Knot or someplace that
the mother of the groom is supposed to wear beige
and keep her mouth shut, and your dress is NOT
beige. John said you can't return the dress, so
maybe you can save it if Sara's boyfriend ever
proposes. I TOLD YOU that Mom and I were
flying in to shop with you in two weeks and we'll
choose your dress together. That's how its
SUPPOSED to work. We are staying at John's
place, as I'm sure he told you.

I sent you the rehearsal dinner plans. How are you
and Dad 2 Be planning on paying? Dress code is dressy
casual. My maids are all wearing flowered sundresses and
sandals, but please, dress modestly. I'll look at your choices
when I get there. I don't want ANYONE showing any cleavage.
My maids are all getting pedicures, so if you are wearing
sandals, consider doing the same.

Since you and D2B are flying in and renting a car, make sure
the rental car company gives you a clean car. They sometimes
are yucky.

Tell Sara that she will need bra cups sewn into the top of her
dress because it will make her look better. John said its
none of my biz, but I want her to look as good.
The bridal shop has them, they are like 25 bucks and
the other girls are wearing them. I sent Sara and all the maids
the schedule of events and what is expected of her.

When are you flying in for my shower? My mom is wearing
a dressy suit, I think you should, too. She choose pink, I'm not
real happy about it because the floral arrangements are in shades
of blue and lavenders. She said it blends and she's wearing it.
Oh, well. Pick your battles, I guess. I think you should find something
in a sage or celedon green, no metalic shoes, please. I've made that a
rule of the entire wedding. I think silver looks cheesy and tacky and this
isn't a strippers wedding.

I'm so excited. Can you believe your little boy is really getting
married? Are you thrilled or what?

See ya soon!
Princess Bride

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