Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fun from the Drill Sargeant Bridezilla

Sad but true!

Confidential: To All My Bridesmaids
From: Princess Bride

It is with deep regret that I must
announce that I fired my wedding
coordinator. There was a clash of personalities
and she had to go. I have decided to step up
to the plate and take control of the situation

First up: I have decided to dispense of the
curtsy when the groomsman takes your arm to
lead you down the aisle. Yes, I know I insisted,
but John says if the girls curtsy he is walking
out. While I thought it was rocking, he thought
it was dumb and his sister said she wouldn't
do it and his mom got in on it and yuck! Sorry,
Sara, don't tell your mom about this, OK?
We won't have a curtsy practice. Now,
are you all happy?

Second up: I need an update on my shower.
I talked to the florist and no one has
submitted any directions for the floral
arrangements for the shower, so I submitted
them myself. I choose a multiflower arrangement
with colors that compliments the blue in
John's eyes.
It will be on your bill.

I don't want any dumb shower games and there
is no way I will allow you to put me in a toilet
paper dress or veil. As we discussed, this is
a classy affair and I want the country club
feel to the shower. Again, please stress to anyone
to buy only what is on my registries so I don't
have to exchange anything or live with some
butt ugly thing that doesn't match my decor.

I've chosen the shower favors I want online and I need
someone to give me their credit card so I can
purchase them. You can do the math to split
up the cost between yourselves.

Third up: Has everyone bought their shoes for
the wedding? I have clear plastic bins to place
your shoes for the wedding so they don't get smudged.
Makeup is NOT to be placed in the bins. Shoes must
have a slip pad on the outsole so no one falls. Shoes
are NOT to be worn for any reason before the wedding.
Even though they won't show under the dress, I'll know.

Fourth and final thought of the day: Absolutely no
public displays of affection between you and your
significant other at any wedding related festivities.
This is about me and John, not YOU!

Think happy thoughts!

Run like hell for your life!!!

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