Stuff Happens!!!

I'm back. Stuff keeps happening. I decided I was going to take a week to smell the roses this summer, no weddings, no bridal shop, no work...just sunshine, relaxation and maybe a sun tan. Stuff happened and I ended having surgery. Not a big deal, but enough to interrupt my rose smelling and relaxation. Recovery interfered with my doing nothing. It introduced daily naps and soap operas into the equasion.

Lightening struck and wiped out my hard drive which was on a surge protector. I had just thankfully backed up the computer. I managed to be able to restore some files and pictures, but lets face it, Punjeeb at tech support couldn't solve all my problems. I kept unplugging the wrong cable, pushing the wrong F key because neither of us understood each other. So, the blog notes, pics and bookmarks are buried somewhere in some microchip in my computer and on my backup.

Meanwhile, back at the bridal shop, the not quite three year old water heater sprung a leak and flooded the basement. The plumbers did their thing and did it very well, but why should a three year old water heater leak? Arrrrgghhh. But that's not the least of it, when the water was turned back on, the pressure blew the water line off the upstairs toilet and no one saw it until the next morning. The water leaked through the kitchen and office areas and damaged the ceiling. Hello, plumber, hello more bills. Luckily, nothing other than the ceiling was damaged...but hey, that's another bill I don't need or want. And cleanup...yuck. And of course, they cannot match the tiles that were damaged, so it means a whole new ceiling.

And my car, my good dependable nothing goes wrong with it car, decided the time was wrong to have major brake and ABS and traction system problems. They can't figure out if it needs kabillions of dollars of repairs of if its just a malfunctioning sensor and partial brake job that is only half a kabillion dollars and another week without a car.

The dog threw up on my new carpet. We replaced it when the kid dropped a bottle of Clorox Clean Up on it and tie dyed the rug. Guess we can relax now that the rug has been christened.

I won't mention a credit card bill that was paid and closed 4 years ago resurfaced. I won't mention that the kid needs tools for school that will cost me twice what I thought.And that he needs car insurance and a car. Lotsa luck on that one, kid.I won't mention that while I was down, the weeds at the bridal shop overtook the landscaping and that it looks like a jungle.

And I'm still smiling and happy. Go figure. My chair is still by the rosebushes waiting for me to take a whiff. And I will before summer is over. My point is that things happen and they will happen during the course of wedding planning. There's always a solution. Keep smiling, this too shall pass. And please, make it soon! ;)

Combining Wedding Themes To Make A Statement

OK, its hard to pick a wedding theme
that expresses your style. Some wedding themes
are almost there, but they miss by a few
degrees. Why not combine wedding themes
to make a personalized statement and
make your wedding stand out from
everyone's wedding?



Combine a sunflower theme with
an animal print. Use favors in an
animal print, use vases of
sunflowers on the tables and in
the bouquets of the bridesmaids.
Incorporate the same animal print
in your invitations or as table
toppers.

What about combining an
eco friendly green wedding with
an Out of Africa theme? Use
eco friendly favors, top the tables
with an African theme table topper,
use animals like giraffes and elephants
for centerpieces grazing in pots of
live grass. Decorate with lots of
tall grasses.






Combine a Tiffany blue theme with a starry
night theme. Use Tiffany blue as your main
color, silver stars as accents. Use silver as
the accent, hang silver stars from the ceiling
on fishing line so they seem to float.



Here's more ideas:
A military theme with a 4th of July theme.
Color scheme is a no brainer. Top it off
with a fireworks display.

Use a cottage theme with wildflowers and
peonies and combine it with a butterfly
theme. Stencil a butterfly on your
aisle runner, put little white wire
bird cages with flowers and butterflies
in them as centerpieces.

Any other imaginative ideas?

If you could do your wedding over, what would you change?

We posed this question to newlywed brides and grooms to get their answer to this question. Some of the answers were surprising, some were very provocative. See for yourself. If YOU could get a wedding do over, what would you do?

Jen: I'd make sure I kept on my shoes and didn't walk around the reception with a long necked beer in my hand. That picture will haunt me forever!

Ashley: Nothing, it was the perfect day!

Kerry: I'd have listened to my fiance when he told me not to sweat the small stuff. In retrospect, the flowers weren't worth all the tears, they turned out beautiful.

Dave: I would have paid more attention.

Jeff: I should have told the family to back off and let us do it our way. I think we had our mothers' dream wedding and it was more for them than for us. But it was awesome and the honeymoon.....(grin)

Taylor: I would have spent less money on stuff that really wasn't necessary and used the money towards a better honeymoon.

Kim: I would have eloped to the Caribbean and we wouldn't have been all the family hassles.

Emily: My wedding was exactly like I wanted, small and intimate. My only regret is that my grandparents weren't able to travel because of health issues.

Ethan: My wife planned her fantasy wedding and I was good with it. But I wish I would have reined in the budget just a bit.

Cole: (laughs) I wouldn't have had my bachelor party so close to the wedding. I felt like hell at the wedding. My buddies were in town, and you know, we had a few drinks, and a few more.

Lauren: I wouldn't have put on my dress and then had a glass of wine. Don't ask!

Shelli: I wouldn't have insisted on all the bridesmaids having their hair, makeup and nails done. I should have trusted them to do it themselves. I feel guilty now for the extra expenses I put on them. I still feel bad about it.

Kelli: I wouldn't have been such a control freak and insisted on doing everything myself. I took on way too much work and didn't get to enjoy the day.

Jay: I wouldn't have hired a friend to DJ. He would have made a better guest.

Crystal: I should have listened to the people I hired to do the job and not my friends.

Gerri: My husband wanted to get married in Las Vegas. We had a big expensive wedding and I was stressed the whole time. We should have eloped to Las Vegas, we'd have been just as married and a lot less stressed out.

Kent: I should have included my family more in the planning since they paid for a big chunk of the wedding. My parents were hurt and I was so caught up in the excitement I didn't see it until the deed was done.

Brian: Nothing, I married my dream woman!

Toni: I would have bought the dress I wanted instead of settling for a less expensive dress and cheaped out on decorations so I could get THE DRESS. I really didn't need chair covers, but at the time, I thought I did.

Ashlee: I shouldn't have forced my sister to make a toast. She was so nervous that she didn't have fun.

Joe: I would have kept tabs on my groomsmen. They got out of hand.

Janine: We had an awesome wedding. We should have put the same effort on planning the honeymoon. We both got sick from the water. Not fun.

And now I will answer the question: I should have insisted on having a smaller wedding. It grew from a small intimate wedding to a big Italian blow out, thanks to my family. Once it got going, it took on a life of its own. It turned out to be a great wedding, but it was TOO big!

Murphys Law and the Importance of a Plan B in Wedding Planning

You've all heard of Murphy's Law, "Whatever can go
wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time."

My life lately has been Murphy's Law in action.
My father passed away and then I got knocked
down by the flu. Not just a mild case of the flu,
the kind that knocks you on your butt and keeps
you down. And did I mention I had a flu shot?
The last three and a half weeks have been hell.
Its been sadness, grief and feeling like crap,
all the while putting business in the background.
And it got me to thinking..what if I had been
planning a wedding?

Whenever you are planning a wedding and putting
in a lot of time and effort, you need to have
a plan B in case Murphy's Law hits.

If you are spending a lot of money, insure
the wedding. There are policies that insure
the cost of the wedding, if God forbid,
something happens that causes the wedding to
be cancelled.

If you are marrying outdoors, have an alternate
indoor location in case it rains or the weather
doesn't cooperate with your plans.

If you or your groom starts to feel sick before
the wedding, get to a doctor stat so they can
prescribe something to make you feel better.
The longer you wait, the worse you'll feel.
If I had gotten to the doctor as soon as I started
feeling sick, the doc could have prescribed Tamiflu
to knock it out faster. But I was busy taking
care of family business and put myself last. Don't
put your wedding plans before your health. You
don't want to be sick the day of the wedding!

Ask all your vendors what happens if they get sick
the day of the wedding. Do they have someone who
will perform their duties? You don't want to scout
for a DJ or photographer the day of the wedding.
Professional vendors will have a back up crew
who are just as qualified "just in case".

Buy travel insurance for your honeymoon. If you are
traveling to the Caribbean during hurricane season,
don't even think about it, just buy the insurance!

Pack an emergency kit for the day of the wedding and
print out how to handle a wedding dress emergency.

Contact all your vendors to make sure you are on the
same page and make sure they are ready to go
before the big day. Reconfirm details and times they
are expected to arrive at the wedding venue.

Think positive, be prepared and formulate a
plan B and get ready to have a wonderful
wedding day without any hitches!

Planning Your Wedding: Shop For Service!

Brides need service. Weddings are
not an entirely do it yourself proposition.
Sure, there are things you can do yourself
if you are willing to put in the time and
work and lots of people do it.

But when it comes to the major things,
like hiring a photographer or catering
your wedding reception, shop for service
and don't shop entirely for price.

Wedding service is priceless. If your vendors
aren't servicing you, the problems will
compound and you'll be stressed out.

I surf Yahoo answers and various bridal
boards to see what's happening in the
world of brides. I'm shocked at
the number of brides who literally don't
have a clue of service. They'll ask questions
that the vendor should have answered at the
first interview. If you need an answer, go
to your vendor. If your vendor can't answer
the question, they should move heaven and
earth to get you an answer.

The lack of service everywhere is an abomination.
It is in every area from the gas station to
restaurants to every area where you are parting
with hard earned money.

Yesterday, I was in this cute little cafe where you
order and then picked up your order. I love this
place and it doesn't bother me to get my order.
I knewI'm not getting table side service.
The gal who took my order was clueless. I ordered
two lunches exactly alike and two coffees different
sizes, and paid. No thank you. She gave me one coffee
cup. I had to explain to her I ordered two coffees and
she looked at the bill and shoved the other cup at me.
No apology, didn't even look up. Pissed me off
that she didn't say a thing, she didn't need to
apologize, just acknowledge that I was there.
Sorry, hon, I'm not wasting your time, its your
job and you are getting paid. Obviously, you
didn't want to be there. I have days when I
don't want to be at work, either, but you'll never
know it because I will treat you as a customer.

When it was time to pick up the lunches, I had one
lunch, not two. Again, no apology, I just stood and
waited. She hadn't rung up the second order but
she had charged me for stuff I didn't order.
It wasn't a big thing, but there was definitely
something lacking in customer service.
What's wrong with a smile and thank you?

A few weeks back, my husband went to a big
box store to look at a flat screen TV. The sales
staff was busy texting and talking to each other,
ignoring the customers. My husband isn't nearly
as nice as I am and he finally went to the manager
and explained why they weren't getting his business.
The manager just l gave him a blank look. He gave
his biz to a mom and pop store and paid just a bit
more, got his questions answered , lots of
service and free delivery and set up.

Now back to weddings, if you want service, find
a vendor who is about service. If you want a
fabulous wedding dress that fits well,
go to a full service bridal salon. Go to a big
box store and you'll get a commissioned salesperson
who will sell you anything to keep their job.
If you want a fabulous wedding cake, go to a
bakery that specializes in wedding cakes.
If you want a great photographer that will
preserve your memories forever, find that
photographer and don't just hire the least
expensive photographer. Service doesn't always cost
extra. Service is priceless.

Every day I hear brides crying about lack of
service. I hear horror stories about their
experiences and I see devastated
brides. It doesn't have to be that way.
When you are planning your wedding, ask
for references and check their references
before you sign on the dotted line. It's a step
you won't regret.

Positive Affirmations for the Bride

Positive affirmations are a way to use
positive thinking to your advantage to cause
positive changes in your life. What you think
is what you become. If you think negative
thoughts you will give off negative vibes.
When you think positive thoughts, you channel
the energy of the universe to bring about positive
and good into your life.

Since today is New Years Day, its time to wipe the
slate clean. Every bride needs to spend a few minutes
each day channeling good thoughts. Positive thoughts
are the backbone of success in life, happiness and
love.

Wedding planning is stressful. You can choose to have a
stress free wedding or you can be a Bridezilla. You
have the option to enjoy the planning process or
make mountains out of molehills. You can choose to
be happy with what you have or you can be jealous and
envious of others weddings. Its your choice.

Give the affirmations a try. Its better than alienating
your friends, family and taking medications. Put the
wedding into perspective and start affirming today!



I trust in my decisions.

I am loved.

I am open to love and give love in return.

I am deserving of a loving long term relationship.

My partner is loving and we are in loving,
peaceful relationship.

I can handle anything that comes my way.

If I make a mistake, I am able to learn from
it and forgive myself.

I am living a healthy lifestyle and it shows
on my face and body.

I will have a joyful wedding.

I am blessed with health, love and friends.

I love and accept myself the way I am.

I am unique, special and a good person who
accepts myself as such.

I challenge my mind and my body for my health.

I give love to my friends and get it back multiplied.

I believe in myself and my decisions.

I trust myself always.

I have unique talents.

I can handle whatever life puts in my way.

I can handle challenges and I can triumph over them.

I choose to stay calm under pressure.

I choose to be calm and let the stress leave
my body.

I have options.

I can create positive changes.

Today I choose to live in peaceful harmony with
the universe.

Today I will compromise when faced with disharmony.

Today I will accomplish tasks on my list.

Today I choose calm, peace and laughter.

Today I will be thankful for what I have.

Today I will count my blessings.

Wedding Q's & A's: How Can We Ask For Money Instead of Gifts?

Alia asks: How can we ask for money instead of gifts
at our wedding?

There is no polite way to ask for money instead of
a gift. It's tacky. A gift is a gift, accept it as
such. There are people uncomfortable giving cash as
a wedding present, as there are people who would
rather give you cash instead of a gift. You'll get both.
Expect neither and be pleasantly surprised at
whatever you receive. That's part of the fun!

If you already have a household set up,
there are still things you can use or won't buy for
yourself. A barbeque grill, power tools, books,
gift cards, yard tools, lawn chairs: think outside of the
box when you register. That's why you register, to let
your guests know what you want, need and can use.

I am not a proponent of asking your family to
spread the word you want cash. It's tacky
to ask for and to expect money.

If you get something you really dislike or
duplicate gifts, return it and get something
you can use.

Advice for The Bride To Be from the Blogosphere

Bride Diva puts an interesting spin
on her post 2008 Brides Get Ready

Bride Diva writes:
People Will Invite Themselves To Your Wedding
Honeymoon Registries are Tacky and Not Very Economical
It’s Not About The Gifts
Don’t Ask For Cash
Remember to Say Thank You
A MUST READ!!

Always A Bridesmaid has a great list of
Resolutions forthe newly engaged.
I especially like #6, Resolve to see the big picture.
One of the best posts about keeping your
perspective on the wedding. Another must read!

Miss Jasmine at Weddingbee has her bridal resolutions
for the upcoming year.
More wedding planning resolutions at
Your Wedding Coach.

Aisledash has a funny post on Grooming the Groom.
Guys want to look picture perfect, too. I'm not
sure you can ask your hairy guy to wax his chest for
the wedding unless he's marrying shirtless.

Rhonda at Our Wedding Plus has a great
post: Nervous about that Wedding Speech?
You're not alone, this is a common fear that
we hear about all the time. Take a deep
breath and read this blog!

Keep the Focus on the Marriage, Less on Wedding Planning

Too many brides put more emphasis on wedding planning and less time marriage planning. The focus of the wedding is the MARRIAGE. Its two people joining their lives together. The theory is that it is to be 'till death of one of the spouses. What a novel concept. Lets stay together through sickness and health, richer and poorer IF we survive the wedding planning.

I've met brides who never mention their fiance. Ever. This gal seems to be more into the IDEA of planning a wedding, having a wedding, being the center of attention and being the BRIDE than the reality of being married.

Marriage isn't glamorous. Its not always fun. Its not always romance and roses. Some days its kids puking in their beds and a sick whining spouse. Some days its routine and boring. Other days its fun and laughs. Its a foundation for your life and your family. Its making memories together. And it really is fun knowing your best friend is waiting for you at the end of the day.

You need to make plans for your marriage with the same zeal you use for planning your wedding. You have to have the same value system. You have to agree on finances and if and when you want to start a family. You should agree on religious beliefs before marriage. And if you have problems or disagreements in this area, then you need to have premarital counseling BEFORE you start planning a wedding. Divorce is NOT fun.

You don't have to agree on politics, sports teams, favorite tv shows or music. Its how you deal with your differences that makes all the difference in a happy marriage and a failed wedding.

And if ALL your emphasis is on the wedding and not the marriage, your priorities are
backwards.

Introducing Your Wedding Coach

I'm your personal wedding coach. Through a series of new articles, we'll lead you through the maze of wedding planning. No baloney, no hype, no unproven methods to lead you astray. Just sound advice from a wedding professional. And its all free!
The series will also be available on our web site www.weddingzillas.com.



We'll cover everything from announcing the wedding to what to do if the wedding is canceled. We'll start with a series on the dress. We'll be using some guest bloggers and we'll be interviewing some major wedding pros. Any wedding pros who would like to guest blog, please email me at weddingzilla@tootsieworld.com.

We welcome any topics you'd like to see addressed.

Trust only a professional for the most special day of your life. Don't believe everything you read on the net. There is a LOT of misinformation. This is the gospel truth! You'd pay thousands and thousands of dollars for what you will learn here. Hey, its free, stop in and feel free to comment and add your questions and topics you want to see discussed.

Please book mark us and check back often!

Wedding Podcast Network Finds Weddingzilla

The Wedding Podcast Network mentioned Weddingzilla in their broadcast! Wow! It totally blew me away that such a well respected wedding authority found little old me and recognized our wedding blog in the same breath as some major heavy hitters and illustrious wedding professionals. Thank you, WPN! We are so honored!

Weddingzilla's blog was mentioned in the same podcast as Darcy Miller's The Bride's Guide , the blog on Martha Stewart Weddings.

Sharon Naylor's I Village blog, Planning in Peace.

Anne Chertoff's I Village blog, From I Will to I Do, wedding ideas and planning advice.

Erica Sapio's Jersey Weddings Blog

Amanda & Lyndsi's Social Design blog

The podcast also talks to Marcy Blum, celebrity wedding planner. She says what I've been saying for years " The gown sets the tone for the wedding." Why do you think you shop for the gown first? ;)

Badgley Mischka talks wedding gowns and accessories. I love love their designs, they seem to understand women. They are debuting a wedding accessory line including wedding rings on the heels of the shoes. How cool is that? Terri Hatcher is their new model, I've seen some of the ads, she looks amazing and so do their products.


The podcast also highlights a reason I started my blog. To dispel a lot of wedding misinformation on the internet. I see so much misinformation given as fact on the internet that it makes me crazy. I want you to know the facts. Lets face it, after 30 years in the wedding business, I should know something about weddings! ;) Brides don't need to be steered in the wrong direction to make costly expensive mistakes.

Listen to the podcast here and make sure you check out their website.

Wedding Podcast Network is the First and Best Place on the Web to Listen to Advice on Wedding Planning For Today’s iPod Generation!

“We wanted to establish an authoritative resource for brides and grooms that are planning their wedding, but realize they have busy lives, whether they are commuting to work, working out at the gym or running errands,”
said Robert Allen, WPN co-founder and executive producer.

“Wedding Podcast Network is like listening to wedding talk radio on-demand on your iPod or computer.”“With the median age of today’s bride just 27, podcasting is the ideal format to disseminate valuable and entertaining wedding planning information to today’s technology-savvy couple. In addition, WPN’s audio format allows listeners to gain a new perspective on traditional wedding magazine content, something that can only be appreciated by listening firsthand to what a wedding professional or newlywed has to say. WPN visitors can also access original wedding music selections, something not possible in traditional bridal media,” Allen said.

WPN is one authority that won't steer you wrong, listen and learn from the top wedding experts. Count me in as a fan.

Why I Started a Wedding Blog

I started this wedding blog for you, the bride. There is so much misinformation on the Internet by supposed experts that it engages me. It seems anyone can call themselves a wedding expert because they got married. If that were true, there are people who have multiple marriages that are beyond expert status. The unsuspecting bride takes their word as gospel. The net makes it easy for a person to make up a persona. They are anonymous.

I look at the wedding boards where brides post and can't believe some information that is posted. Brides crow about buying a couture name brand gown directly from China for less than the cost of the fabric that it would take to fashion the dress. You aren't getting the couture dress you saw in the magazines or the bridal salon. Check back later to see the bride crying because she bought something that is unwearable. I know, I've seen the original and the dress from China. See my post about buying your dress directly from China.

I'm not trying to sell you a dress, I'm trying to prevent you from making an expensive mistake . I've dealt with the brides who've made the exact same mistake! They are stressed and have to buy another dress at the last minute. Their bargain caused them to spend WAY more money than they planned.

I see brides expressing their opinions as facts. Its their opinion, not a fact. So they love a certain line of invitations, bridesmaid dresses, etc. Its their opinion. The line of products may be excellent. Their experiences may be excellent. Take the information for what its worth.

This blog will tell it like it is. Whether you agree or not, its based on fact and experience. I don't know everything there is about weddings. I learn something new everyday. There's always something new to learn, a new idea, a new trend, a new twist. I do my best to keep up and keep learning.

Here is my bio:

• I've owned a full service bridal salon for over 30 years.

• I designed a line of bridal veils that were nationally distributed and now do only custom work through my bridal salon.

• I've been a wedding planner for 25 plus years.

• I am an expert at destination weddings and destination wedding plannings. See my web site Beachbride2be.

• I've written and published wedding articles and been quoted in Vows magazine, the magazine for wedding professionals.

• I've organized and promoted many local bridal shows and held seminars for the brides about wedding planning.
  

• My mother designed clothing in New York and she taught me pattern drafting, dress construction, fabrics and fabric draping and dress alterations. I could copy a dress from a picture, but you can't afford me. ;)
  

I intend to give you the facts, just the facts and nothing but the facts.

Have a happy wedding!

Wedding Blog Roundup

There are a lot of wedding blogs, these blogs caught our interest this week. We thought you might like see what caught our attention!


From Always A Bridesmaid, "I was involved with the groom."
Score one for the bride, zero for the friend. Yikes!


From Bridezilla.com Bridezilla Loves Free Money, Wedding Contests Round Up
Who doesn't love free? Enter and win!


From Laptop Bride, The Fake Wedding Cake Less calories maybe?


From OffBeat Bride Best Picture EVAH! Hey, I kind of like her spirit of independence!


From Decidedly Uncomplicated, Not Just for Flower girls, Pomander floral bouquets. Its about time!


From Our Wedding Plus, The Impact of Chairs on your Event. The pictures are amazing, lots of great ideas you can use for your wedding.

Planning Your Wedding

Today's bride attacks her wedding planning with the precision of a general planning a campaign. With all the resources available and being bombarded with information from the web and peers, its no wonder any bride is able to make any decision.

Be organized! Buy a wedding planner AND wedding planning software. Think of your wedding planner as your portable office. Keep a list of all your contacts, contracts and receipts so you have everything available for appointments with vendors. Your phone list will be invaluable when you sit down to confirm and check the details and progress of your wedding. Keep your wedding guest list on the computer, gift list, responses etc. This will be your lifesaver. That small purchase will make your life so much easier. Here is a great wedding planning software for brides AND grooms! Click Here!


Remember, an organized bride is a happy bride. Any glitch, and there will be glitches, can easily be ironed out if you are organized.

Hire a professional. Trust your wedding only to a professional. They know what they are doing and they'll do it with precision. You won't have the stress involved in using friends or family to do a job they haven't tackled before. You aren't going to get another chance or a "redo". Cut the stress, hire a professional, even if it means cutting the budget in a different category. I've heard horror stories from brides who wish they'd spent the money to hire a wedding professional. Don't be the bride who is crying because her wedding photos were ruined.

Don't second guess your decisions. Once you've hired your vendors or purchased your dress, stop shopping. Go on to the next decision. Don't second guess, don't fret. Trust your vendor to do their job.

Make a budget and work within your budget. When you save money in one area of your budget, roll the money into another area where you want to add some extras. Be realistic. Ask yourself "Do I really need this?" If the answer is no, cut it out of the budget. Shop within your budget. I highly recommend the book “How To Have Your Fairytale Wedding On A Shoestring Budget." Click Here! This will give you amazing tips for budgeting and saving money so you can have the extras of your dream wedding. Written by a wedding professional, these are insider tips.


Follow up. Follow up on all your vendors. They expect to hear from you occasionally. If you need reassurance, call them. Trust that they will do their job. You NEED to follow up, but if you bug them on a daily basis, they'll label you a troublemaker or worse, a BRIDEZILLA!

Read up on the 21 deadliest mistakes that can ruin your wedding. Click Here!