My Bridal Fashion Show is Making Me Crazy!

I have to be up tomorrow at 6AM . I have to wear a formal and heels and pretend my feet don't hurt. I'm there to sell myself, my bridal shop, to meet brides, talk to them about their weddings and tell them about my services. And this is in addition to putting on the fashion show.

This has been the week from hell. Monday, my seamstress calls in with the stomach flu. Wednesday I'm up to bat. I'm too sick to give a damn.

All the plans fall apart on Thursday. I feel like hell, I just want to go home. We have the show blocked. The show promoter decides to send over 4 more models at closing time. I use the term model the same way I call Britney Spears a singer. This motley crew has to be related to the promoter. Two are size zeros who are 5 foot tall. One is 6 foot 2, looks like Elvira and has eyeliner like Amy Winehouse. Scary! The other is a total bitch who I will call TB.

TB has a total meltdown. She LITERALLY screams that she wants the dress Elvira is wearing. Elvira's dress is the only dress in the store long enough for her, its a done deal. TB is gorgeous, but she's a nut case. TB thinks Elvira looks better than her. I try to make peace, but TB literally throws herself on the floor and won't get up. And then it got ugly. OMG. This is such a fun job. Why me?

I picked a Tiffany blue scheme for our booth at the show. Friday, the promoter tells us our booth is three times the size we'd planned. It meant scrambling to every craft and fabric store within 50 miles to find more tiffany blue fabric. Couldn't find it anywhere. Tried to find curtains, sheets, fabric panels, nada, nothing, zilch.

And in between running around like an idiot, we have to haul 3 loads of dresses, mannequins, accessories, bras, slips, shoes, jewelry, veils to the hotel.

I had this grand vision of using the ostrich feathers on the heads of the mannequins to create "feather heads". I actually saw something similar at a couture show in New York and mentally made a note to steal the idea. The ostrich feathers I ordered came in late Friday and they weren't dyed. So, back to the craft store for floral spray.

I took my feathers outside in my yard and start spraying away. Its windy, and my left hand is tiffany blue. My white bichon thinks I'm playing and tries to join in the fun. She now has a blue head and one blue ear. Very chic! Gotta redo my nails, but not before I spill a huge box of beads on the floor. Had to be thousands of them. It was like those cartoons where they are running and getting nowhere. It was like walking on ice and I'm afraid little blue head will eat the beads. So now I have no beads for accents for my display, a blue hand, a blue headed dog, a mess to clean up and a hungry husband.

Today we realized the mannequins we brought to the hotel don't have the open neck blocks to make them "feather heads" so I decide to make feather arrangements for the booth. I'm not going to haul and undress mannequins again. I'm going to use the feathers if I have to dress and dance like a fan dancer.

My assistant and I went outside early today to spray the fabric tiffany blue. It works perfectly until the wind kicks up and my left hand is blue AGAIN.

The car is packed with everything for the booth, including my feathers. My hand isn't blue anymore. I'm ready to rock and roll. Lets get this show on the road, and start pouring the coffee. They're planning a cake dive. I've never seen one in person and I can't wait. A cake dig is then the brides dive into wedding cake for prizes. I'm sure its fun, but what a waste of cake! And I'm secretly ticked off that I can't join in.