Honeymoon Style


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Royal Wedding Questions That Aren't Being Answered

I swore I'd leave the royal wedding wedding pass and not comment.  The media is making me crazy with all the coverage.  Only two more days, but there are so many questions I NEED answered that aren't being answered or even asked.  Since my brain doesn't work like a normal brain, here are some of the wedding questions that I find interesting and I want answered.  

What if Kate has to pee during the festivities?   As our American queen, Oprah says  "Everyone pees."  Since a lot of women are nervous pee-ers,  did protocol go over the "what if's" with Kate?   Does she start dehydrating herself before the wedding?   Does she wear a Depend?  Or does she just stand there and suffer?   Or is she discreetly escorted to the royal throne room?   ;)  And is there a staff member assigned to hold up her train while she does her business?    OK, you many find this silly, but after working with brides for eons, I know brides worry about this subject.  Common brides usually assign this task to their maid of honor.  I hope Kate has this handled.  Stay away from the tea and coffee and soda, Kate.

And speaking of Oprah, why wasn't she invited to the wedding?  I mean, I can understand the Obama's, but Oprah?   Really?   Do the British want to open up old wounds from when we split from their rule?  

What happens if it rains and the feathered hats and fascinators worn by the guests start to reek and smell?  Nothing smells worse than wet feathers unless its a wet dog.   I can't imagine wet feathers in a musty old palace overtaking the smell of wedded bliss at the reception. 

What if Camilla needs a smoke?   Is there a place she can escape to light up? Nothing is worse than needing a smoke and not being able to smoke, kind of like suffering through a long airplane flight.  And is Camilla pissed that she wasn't able to have a royal wedding?   And will she cringe when the groom remembers his mother during the ceremony?  

Will Prince Harry stay sober during the festivities?  Will we see You Tube videos of him stumbling around London with some woman of ill repute in the early morning hours following the wedding? 

Will the queen have a little shot of  jagermeister to steady her nerves and keep her tiara headache from getting full blown?  Will she wear a tiara under her hat?  

And who will be the first company to produce the copy of Kate's dress?  One of the Moradi family  from Faviana was on the Today show and they have sketchbooks out and ready.  Shout out to the gang at Faviana....hey, Omid!   Faviana is a contender as are ABS by Alan Schwartz and every factory in China who manufacturers anything wedding related.   Or will it be some independent seamstress on Etsy?  

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