Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Wedding Q: What To Do About A PIA Bridesmaid?

The Bridesmaid, by John Phillip, painted in 1860

Wedding Q...uestion: "Hi, I have a
bridesmaid that is causing trouble in my
wedding. She hates the dress, she refuses
to participate in any wedding activities,
she talks smack about my fiance. What
should I do?"

My first impulse would be to tell you to
kick her to the curb, but there is something
going on with her. She may be jealous,
she may be afraid of losing your friendship
once you are married. Maybe the problem
is financial. Or maybe she may just enjoy
being disruptive.

Take time to talk to her alone. Take her to
lunch and ask her in a nice non confrontational
way about the problem. Reassure her that your
friendship is important and just because you
are getting married, it doesn't mean she won't be
a part of your life.

Tell her you are willing to listen
to any thing she has to say and then LISTEN.
She may have some valid points, she may not.
Don't yell, argue or accuse.

Give her the option of bowing out gracefully if
you see that that is her intent. She will still
be responsible for the cost of her maids dress if
the dress has been ordered. That may tick her off
but that's the reality of the situation. You agree
to be in the wedding, you agree to the gig and its
costs. In the worst case scenario that she bows out,
you can negotiate with her about replacing her and
having the replacement maid reimburse her for the
cost of the maid's dress.

You can't please everyone in the wedding party, but
it helps if you put forth some effort. If she is
as troublesome as you say, you may not WANT her
in your wedding party.

For more information, check this out: Are You
A Maidzilla?

Email your wedding questions to:
weddingzilla@tootsieworld.com and
we'll do our best to consult with our
experts and give you the best answers!

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